WHAT IF NO ONE CARED? Still want to?
If you worry that you can't be, do or have something because you're not ________ enough, or because you don't deserve it, or because the past shows you that you rarely get what you want, just stop. What would you say if your child, or any child whispered or boldly declared his or her desire, dream or wish? Would you say, "listen, kid, you're not ______ enough. You don't deserve to have that, it's unrealistic that you'll ever become that, so just forget it."
We know the answer to that question.
So why do we put a lid and lock on our own desires and dreams? When did we start telling ourselves that we can't, ANYTHING?
I don't know the answer, but I do know that we all do it. I lived that story for my entire adult life until exactly eleven years ago. While attending my first personal development course at age 36, I had the biggest epiphany of my life, which turned into one of many. It gave birth to several future self-discovery and "holy sh*^" moments of awakening. When I realized on that afternoon.......like I REALLY GOT (in my bones and in my soul) that at any moment we can reinvent ourselves, start over, hit the refresh button and step into complete and utter possibility, my life changed forever. Like no going back kind of change. You cannot un-know something that profound after your heart learns a new truth.
I still remember what the carpet looked like that I was staring at while tears flowed out out of the depths of my former self....as I looked down, and watched them hit my bare feet, I felt stunned, confused, and somehow more certain about this new way of being than I had been about anything in my entire life. I was staring at the ground, because the coach was instructing me to imagine a line drawn in front of me.........a line of distinction.....on the other side of it was a new life....a new reality....the reality that I unknowingly denied and killed at some point in my childhood.
"What's on the other side of that line?", she asked, knowing that I was about to discover something that would create wings where there once was only a cocoon.
"Nothing", I whispered--voice cracking, hands trembling. Nothing was there because everything was possible. I could create it. All of it. Just by choosing to.
Life can be a series of shifts, and of leveling up, or it can be a predictable story of "I can't because".......and we get to decide. After my awakening I went back to many episodes of upper limiting, fear, scarcity and playing small. Yet it was impossible to go back to my old self. As I said, one cannot unlearn something that the soul has known all along and rediscovers. We can, however, remain stiff, stagnant and contained at that new level. A new form of comfort can become our new existence. It did become mine. For years.
I can recall several moments of significant shifts in belief and thinking which changed took me to a new level, even amidst the periods of denying what was truly possible. A few of them were monumental. Two days ago was one of the big ones. Okay, it was more than big. It was the moment I made the decision to follow a calling and cry that has been beckoning me from the depths of my highest self for three years, waiting on my approval to be birthed. And when I spoke it into reality, every cell in my being aligned...my creator, the angels, my inner child and the me of today all united in singing a song of celebration. I had finally.............finally let go of the pressure and expectation that had been my identity for years....I released the lie that "I can't, because" and I have never felt so free—except for the moment I stared at my bare feet covered in my own tears. This most recent moment of enlightenment echoed that one and was somehow even sweeter.
Choosing to reject the self-induced pressure that I have unnecessarily attached to building my online health and wellness business was one of the most loving gifts I have every given anyone. The fact that I was the recipient of this gift made it so sweet and so unbelievably foreign. Me. No pressure? No goals? No have to? What? How could I? Can I?
Now this new mindset of freedom from my own who is who I am. It was me as soon as I accepted it as mine. The only way to describe what happened in me when I spoke the words into existence—with the Universe as my witness and God as my confidant—is miraculous.
When we offer ourselves a gift that our soul has been awaiting and God has anointed, it creates a ripple effect.....an unstoppable series of miracles. As soon as I declared my new reality, by releasing my old one, a vacuum was created and so many dreams and secret desires that before felt hazy and distant, moved right into the previously taken parking spots and called them there home. Suddenly the book I know is calling me to this keyboard showed its face. The creative juices that are leading to projects that before felt too big and too wonderful for me, fit me like my favorite pair of worn in jeans.
Step up. Look at the carpet. Picture the line. Feel the nothinginess that awaits you and walk into your possibility.That is where your true self is waiting. You can. You're enough. You do deserve to. You owe no one...anything.
Your destiny is in the tears that are about to hit your feet.