TRADING CAGES FOR CIRCLES

They say if you look at your inner circle and you aren’t inspired then you don’t have a circle, you have a cage.

You’ve likely already heard it said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.

Many of us have a lot of connections and a lot of friends but who is in your inner circle? Who are the people you go to when you need spiritual guidance? Business mentorship? When you need authentic feedback that’s not just going to make your ego feel good?

I’m so proud of the relationships I have. 
I truly have solid friendships with many women inside and outside of my work family. True friends.

I spent most of my life being a loner, being very popular and making people laugh but feeling very alone and not really having many friends. I know now that I was doing that to prevent myself from being close to people. Keeping everyone at a safe and friendly distance. I wanted love and connection so badly but it also terrified me because of the scars from my childhood. I had such abandonment issues and a lot of trauma so it just felt better to keep people at arms length—but I also had to make sure that they liked me— so I was always pouring into people while taking five steps back. 
Smiling and making them giggle without getting too close.

Today I am honoring my inner work circle. So many women in my work family are friends of mine…some are dear, dear friends. Yet there is a small group with whom I connect regularly and a couple of women I only talk to occasionally but it’s about deeply personal, extremely important and/or spiritual conversations so our bond runs very deep even if we don’t talk often.

I probably should reserve an entire blog post for each of these women but for now I will share that this entire group represents my own metamorphosis.

I grew into me so that I could feel deserving of them.

I used to see these gems as being at a higher level than me. Like they were top shelf and I was not generic but I was still upgrading my worth to premium. My insecurity was still present enough that I couldn’t imagine us being friends. Ok I’ll say it—I felt unworthy of them.

Have you ever felt that way about someone? If you have, it says everything about your own fear and your own lack of self-worth and nothing about them. They likely admire YOU! But that’s irrelevant until you see them as your equal. And life gets really fun when you can see them as deserving of YOU....seeing your contribution as significant and *your gift of friendship* as the sprinkles to their sundae.

Left photo is Linda Evenden whose specialty is reminding me of what’s possible. 
Top right is Kathrine Lee who shows me that being flawed is my perfection.
Right middle is Sharon McClellan who always reminds me that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. 
Bottom right is my ⭕️ of 5 
(Kim Trout McColl Peggy Rivera Stephanie Gits Mary Milanesi Koenig)
I decided I was worthy of an inner work circle for masterminding. The first person who came to mind was Peggy. I could have never asked her this question just two years ago but I very confidently asked her to partner with me and help me create the circle. We both came up with the names of the other women and it was the best decision. It came together with divine orchestration—total magic and ease. These are women I had previously seen as beyond my reach and they not only graciously accepted our invitation but they said that they had been wanting something like this as well. We support one another in ways that none of us could have predicted. We are each other’s legs, arms, brains and hearts when needed.

Second to last photo (with our wine glasses) are Sandy Veilleux who embodies the Goddess side of the God in me and reminds me that chill is a superpower, and @michelle rogers is my power hero. Bold, strong and unstoppable.

Last photo (left to right) @holly morris is my sweet reminder that success can sing quietly. Far right in that photo (Stephanie in the green top is my circle of 5 group already mentioned ) is Kelly Baker Proehl who for ten years has reminded me that faith is the only way to teach true success because without peace there is none.

These ten women are part of me and I can finally see that I am a part of them.

Who’s on your top shelf? And when are you going to see that you belong there too?

Jill Herman